So today is one year since you passed mom, and in some sense it feels like ages and in other senses it feels like just yesterday. It’s taken me a whole year to get this text written, I have tried a number of times to finish it off, and just could not get it done. In truth it was never going to be easy, but today was the day it needed to be finished, and so here goes.
Where does one start, well I guess I would like to say thank you for being an incredible mother to me. I know life was not perfect for you and you struggled with your own demons <as we all do>, but I never ever questioned your love for me. That was a rock solid sure thing, regardless of what was going on.
I remember landing back in Cape Town after being away on a tiger fishing trip in Zambia, and getting the call from Bunter as I sat on 6C, and when the phone rang I knew something serious was going on, but I never expected that it was you. Writing this mow I feel the very same emotions flood right back, powerful indeed! It’s a reminder to me that I am alive, and I need to live like I value and get that every single day.
I have so many memories, they come back to me at different times, and some make me feel happy and others sad, but they all make me miss you and remind me of how special you were! I know that the good memories last longer lasting than the bad ones, I love that about how we as people are designed and wired. In the past year there are so few of the bad ones that come to mind, rather today I celebrate being alive and enjoying life with my family and a good cup of coffee in memory of you, I know you would approve mum.
Some of the things that stay with me always when I think of you:
- You were the first person that held me, and love me completely just for who I am … a son and a mother always have a special bond.
- You are the most generous, kind, caring person I will ever know!
- You gave without expectation of return, often at your own cost and at times to your own detriment.
- You never looked at anyone as less than herself, regardless of station in life, and treated everyone as complete equals.
I know Dad misses you so much, more than you would have expected I think, we all do! As hard as things were at stages between the 2 of you, I have nothing but the utmost of respect that you stayed together and honored your marriage vows and commitments. I know you guys loved each other!
I will never ever forget you mom, I think about you every day, I miss you … it’s the little things, the odd SMS and the phone calls when I come back from a trip or letting us know what food you ate the day before, what shopping you did, or where you had coffee with dad.
So know you are missed, a proper amount too!
I love you mom!